I Know God. But I Want to Know Him

If I’m being honest—this hunger didn’t show up calm and quiet.
It came crashing in, right alongside the anxiety.
Right in the middle of the urgency.
Right when everything around me felt unstable, uncertain, and honestly… overwhelming.

I didn’t start seeking God because I had everything together.
I started seeking Him because I could feel myself coming undone.

I know God.
I trust His name. I believe His Word.
But lately… I’ve just wanted to hear Him.
Like, really hear Him.

Not just in Sunday sermons or praise breaks or perfectly planned devotionals.
But in the quiet, chaotic moments of real life.

So I’ve been pressing in—not from a place of performance, but from a place of desperation.

I wake up and reach for Him.
Not because it’s cute or consistent yet, but because I need Him.

I open my Bible in the morning and again at night—not to tick a box, but to calm my mind, to quiet my heart, to remind myself I am still held.

I keep scripture cards around my house because I need truth to interrupt the lies I tell myself on autopilot.

I am not in a mountaintop season.
I am not leading from overflow.

But I am showing up.
With trembling hands and a hungry heart, I am choosing to stay close.

If you’re in a similar place—where the anxiety is real, the urgency is heavy, and your faith feels like it's barely hanging on—

I just want you to know: God meets us here too.

You don’t need to be polished.
You don’t need a perfect prayer life.

You just need to be present.

That’s all I’ve got right now.
And it’s enough.