I Didn’t Pray the Right Prayer

Today marks five years since my mother went home to be with the Lord.
And I remember it like it just happened.
Not just the pain. But the moment it hit me—
I didn’t pray the right prayer.

Let me explain.

It was the height of COVID.
No visitors. No hospital goodbyes. No final moments.
Just a phone call:
“She’s gone.”

But before that moment—before that call—I had been praying hard and with full faith:

“God, heal my mother completely. Let her come home just like she was before the stroke.”
“And please, Lord—not on my niece’s birthday.”
“Not on mine either.”

My niece’s birthday is July 23rd.
Mine is July 27th.
My mother passed on July 24th.

I knew immediately.
God heard me. Word for word.
And I realized right then—I didn’t pray the right prayer.

I had refused to take her off life support.
Not because I wasn’t in denial—I was.
But also because I believed.
I believed that if God wanted her, He didn’t need us to make that decision.
And when He was ready, He came for her—right between our birthdays.

That’s when I learned something that changed everything:

God doesn’t just hear your heart—He hears your words.

I prayed for healing. And I meant it.
But I also prayed with boundaries.
I gave God details. I made requests.
But I didn’t surrender.

I never said:
“God, have Your way.”
“God, give me peace no matter what.”
“God, if healing means heaven, help me release her.”

I prayed what I wanted—
Not what I was willing to trust Him with.

Now I pray differently.
Still bold. Still specific. Still full of faith.
But I also pray surrendered.

Because I’ve lived what it means to ask for something and receive it exactly as requested—
And still miss what I truly needed.

I needed peace.
I needed trust.
I needed to say,
“Lord, I believe You can… but I trust You even if You don’t.”

So if you’re praying for something today—
Pray bold.
Pray clear.
But also… pray surrendered.

Because the God who hears you also sees the full picture.
And even when the answer hurts, He’s still good.
Even when it doesn’t happen your way, He’s still God.
Even when healing comes in heaven, He still keeps His Word.

Scripture Anchors:

You do not have because you do not ask God. — James 4:2b NIV
Not my will, but Yours be done. — Luke 22:42 NKJV
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. — 1 John 5:14 NIV